The Art of Lie Detection - How to Know if Someone is Lying to You
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If liars are capable of doing it at all, it will take a while as liars have to re-think everything they have already told you before attempting it. A liar can almost never do it. Liars also seldom veer from their original presentation at all which can be telling in any negotiation.
A liar will always try to change the subject or deflect a direct question. It looks great! A great deflection in a negotiation is not to really answer the question. Why would I have bashed the hell out of the Coke machine? There is an old sales and negotiation adage that states the first one to talk, loses.
In the case of lying, it seems to hold up. Most Liars hate silences and rush to fill the void with rambling. So, interject some silence and see if some inane babbling ensues. The eyes offer subtle clues.
1) Use “Cognitive Load”
Liars can more easily control their words but not their unconscious non-verbal leaks. A liar will also try to put up some sort of barrier between you as a defensive posture.
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They will cross their arms and legs, point their feet toward the nearest exit, or place something between you like a table or a chair or even a desk stapler. Lying, it seems, is a tricky thing for we humans. We seem to abhor it but will actually approve of it in a subconscious and covert manner. So, keep some of the above pointers in mind the next time you are engaged in a high level negotiation, a job interview or salary discussion, or if you think your first date is just trying to impress you. Your email address will not be published.
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How to spot a Liar in Negotiations | Negotiation Experts
Updated: 24 Sep Summary Sharing practical advice to assist you in spotting lies in your negotiations. It was their fault. Terribly formal, are we not? Yeah, but can you say that backwards? And now for something, completely different A liar will always try to change the subject or deflect a direct question. The eyes have it? Activate the shields, Scotty! I mean, would I lie to you? Get Newsletter! Rate this Article 5 out of 5 from 1 responses.
1) Use “Cognitive Load”
Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Some polygraph tests are better at it yet are far from perfect. Researchers are trying to use imaging methods to distinguish truth from lies. Intensified activity in the prefrontal cortex may be an indicator of the process by which we decide to lie or not—but it tells us nothing about the lie itself. When he tried to tell a lie, he often passed out and had convulsions. In essence, he became a kind of Pinocchio, the fictional puppet whose nose grew with every fib.
For the patient, the consequences were all too real: he was a high-ranking official in the European Economic Community since replaced by the European Union , and his negotiating partners could tell immediately when he was bending the truth.
His condition, a symptom of a rare form of epilepsy, was not only dangerous, it was bad for his career. Doctors at the University Hospitals of Strasbourg in France discovered that the root of the problem was a tumor about the size of a walnut. The tumor was probably increasing the excitability of a brain region involved in emotions; when Mr. Pinocchio lied, this excitability caused a structure called the amygdala to trigger seizures.
Once the tumor was removed, the fits stopped, and he was able to resume his duties. But perhaps just as important, it shows that lying is a major component of the human behavioral repertoire; without it, we would have a hard time coping. A little bit of pretense seems to smooth out human relationships without doing lasting harm.
Yet how much do researchers know about lying in our daily existence? How ubiquitous is it? When do children usually start engaging in it? Does it take more brainpower to lie or to tell the truth? Are most people good at detecting untruths? And are we better at it than tools designed for the purpose? Scientists exploring such questions have made good progress—including discovering that lying in young children is a sign that they have mastered some important cognitive skills.
Of course, not everyone agrees that some lying is necessary. Generations of thinkers have lined up against this perspective. The Ten Commandments admonish us to tell the truth.
How to tell if someone is lying to you
Today many philosophers take a more nuanced view. German philosopher Bettina Stangneth argues that lying should be an exception to the rule because, in the final analysis, people rely on being told the truth in most aspects of life. Among the reasons they lie, she notes in her book Deciphering Lies, is that it can enable them to conceal themselves, hiding and withdrawing from people who intrude on their comfort zone.
It is also unwise, Stangneth says, to release children into the world unaware that others might lie to them. It is not only humans who practice deception.
Trickery and deceit of various kinds have also been observed in higher mammals, especially primates. The neocortex—the part of the brain that evolved most recently—is critical to this ability. Its volume predicts the extent to which various primates are able to trick and manipulate, as primatologist Richard Byrne of the University of St.
Andrews in Scotland showed in In our own kind, small children love to make up stories, but they generally tell their first purposeful lies at about age four or five. Before starting their careers as con artists, children must first acquire two important cognitive skills. One is deontic reasoning: the ability to recognize and understand social rules and what happens when the rules are transgressed. For instance, if you confess, you may be punished; if you lie, you might get away with it.
The other is theory of mind: the ability to imagine what another person is thinking. I need to realize that my mother will not believe that the dog snagged the last burger if she saw me scarf down the food. As a step to developing a theory of mind, children also need to perceive that they know some things their parents do not, and vice versa—an awareness usually acquired by age three or four.
People cook up about two stories a day on average, according to social psychologist Bella M.