Roommates: A Guide to getting along with a Roommate
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Simmering in resentment will only make it more difficult to get along. Communicate in a friendly way. Snapping at people invites them to snap back even harder. Communicate about things that interest you. People get interested in people who are interesting. Lose your shyness. This is the person who hears you snore and sees you first thing in the morning. Better balance that with some sharing about movies, music, or harmless gossip. Got a problem? Call a meeting when neither of you is hungry, tired, or furious and see if you can work it out.
Have fun with the situation. Positive energy invites more of the same.
Benefits of Good Roommates
Marie Hartwell-Walker is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education.
She is author of the insightful parenting e-book, Tending the Family Heart. Check out her book, Unlocking the Secrets of Self-Esteem. If you really are friends with your roommate, you can also likely talk to them about what might be bothering you and the two of you can work it out amicably. Do you really hate your roommate, or do you just hate the way they leave their towel on the floor after they get out of the shower? Or the fact that they never take the trash out? When you let little things like this bother you day after day without actually doing anything about them, you can quickly build up resentment.
Avoid the path of leaving a passive aggressive note, but just casually mentioning something to your roommate could solve the problem. Sometimes, when you fester emotions, they just keep building up because there is no outlet for them.
10 Tips for Getting Along With Your College Roommate
On the other hand, maybe the issue is a little bigger — they steal your things or engage in illegal activities inside your apartment or dorm room. In this case, you might say something to your roommate, but you may also need to contact the authorities. No matter what, you always need to be safe and secure in your living space. They will have resources to help you and they can give you advice on what to do for your particular situation.
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They can even help facilitate a discussion between you and your roommate. It can be really tempting to try to retaliate and try to get back at your roommate when they leave a mess or when they eat your food without asking, but doing this is never going to make things better and can only make them worse. Be the bigger person and work it out.
Trying to get revenge will only make it harder for you got get along with your roommate in the future. Nobody said that you had to be best friends and trying too hard can just make the situation worse. Figure out what you need to do to live peacefully with each other and when the semester or year is over, you can go your separate ways. There are a lot of ways to go about conflict resolution , so finding a technique that works well for you will be a great asset for you to carry with you the rest of your life.
There are a lot of strategies you can use to try to resolve conflict with your roommate and find a happy living situation for both of you. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself: do I want to feel stressed, angry, and annoyed every day for the next year OR do I want to suck it up, have a tough conversation with my roommate, and be happy for the next year?
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Enlisting your RA to help facilitate the discussion can be extremely helpful. If your situation is in any way dangerous or threatening, your safety needs to take priority. Here are a few tips to make your roommate relationship as enjoyable and supportive as possible: 1 Clear Communication from the Get-Go : Probably the most important tip for any relationship of any kind!
There are probably tons of things your roommate does that get on your nerves. Instead, both of you need to list your number one pet peeve and focus your energy on solving that first. Before you decide that life would be better with a roommate exactly like you, think of what you could gain by living with your opposite. While easier in the short run, in the long run this only makes things worse—especially if you're sharing a small space.
So try to be direct. And whether you're best friends or relative strangers, it's always good to maintain some personal space, even if it's just the size of a twin bed and an hour with your earphones on. For a good in-between solution for not-so-confrontational girls, there is another suggestion: texting. Texting allows you to communicate openly without the embarrassment and the awkwardness of face-to-face conflict resolution.
Allie Jones, a student at the College of William and Mary, says that texting also saves a lot of time when it comes to letting your roommate know what your plans are. She did the same for me, like text if she wouldn't be coming home that night, so I wouldn't worry, or say if she would be back late and I would just leave a little light on and go to sleep.
Trust me, your friends will thank you.
She hopes to join the Peace Corps after graduation, and then go on to get a master's degree.